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Archive for January, 2017

“Nasty ” Women.

There’s been plenty of talk lately about the Women’s March around the world. I live in America so most of my point of view is from American media posts. However, what Americans fail to note is that the Women’s March was world wide. WORLD. WIDE.

Because every woman has a story about how they were belittled, talked over, put aside, and even abused by men in their lies. Every woman does. I don’t  care who you are.

Women I see in social media are making (what I believe) are short-sighted statements, statements that just make me see red.

“What are they marching for? We’re equal to men!”

“Women don’t have it so bad in this country!”

“*I* don’t feel like I have no rights, why are *they* marching?”

Ok look at that last statement. Look. It starts with *I*. Ok, great, you feel like you’re equal to men, you feel like you have all the rights you need. Great! Not all of us feel that way. Some of us have had parents that said “You SURE you want to be a doctor and not a nurse?” Or lovers that have scoffed at our ability to change a tire. Or “Why don’t I come with you to get a car, honey? Surely they’ll listen to a man?”  Some of us have been assaulted and then blamed for it. “She shouldn’t have been drinking”. “See what she was wearing?? She was asking for it”. Nothing is said about the person who assaulted her, who basically helped themselves to what they weren’t entitled to. That’s called “stealing”.  And if it were a car instead of the woman’s body, yeah, you bet the cops would be all over it.  It’s not always about YOU, people.  Maybe think of the other woman for a change.

I heard once on the John Tesh radio show that women who wear jewelry and expensive watches at job interviews are seen as “high maintenance” and less likely to be hired as they are percieved as “difficult to work with”.  A man, however, wearing an expensive watch or large ring is percieved as “successful” and “will do anything to get a job done”.  Why is that? Isn’t that messed up?? Would that be considered “oppression” because it sure as fuck isn’t equal.  If realizing that makes me a “Nasty” Woman, I’ll wear that with pride.

I am privileged. I acknowledge that. I only hope I can use it to help those who have less privilege than me.  I acknowledge that I was raised by basically the best parents, who taught me strength, kindness and selflessness.  My father wouldn’t see gender, I announced I wanted to be a lawyer. He and my stepmother mapped out exactly what I would have to do to reach my goal. I wanted Star Wars toys, and Santa brought me Star Wars toys. Only lately am I hearing that boys are claiming that fandom for themselves, I never heard any of that growing up. You either liked Star Wars or you didn’t.  Gender never came into play.

I am white. I don’t have the same struggles women of colour have.  I never will. I don’t claim to know what their struggles are, I never will.

I have a disability, but I can pass as able-bodied. (Most days) But I will fight like hell for my disabled peers to have a voice and accessibility.  While I can walk now, my disease will progress to the point I’ll need mobility aids.

I am in a het relationship.  I don’t need to worry about the Marriage Equality act. I don;t need to worry about it being rescinded and having my relationship seen as invalid by society. I don’t have to worry about my child being taken or question his custody because my marriage might be seen as illegal.  But I know couples who do worry about that. I acknowledge the struggles and the ignorance.

I am cis-gendered. I identify with the gender I was born with.  I knew from two years old I was a girl (More specifically a princess, and later on, vampire princess.) I didn’t have the feeling of being in the wrong body, being seen as a freak, or feeling like if I lived as I really felt, I’d be treated differently by the people in my life.  Anyone who is trans, non-binary, or genderqueer, again, let me use my privilege to make sure your voice is heard, because you are valid and you matter. You matter so much, oh my GOD, you do matter.

See how easy it is? And enough with this selfish bullshit, *I* don’t see… WE see. WE see you, WE want you heard, WE will help you raise up.

So in conclusion, you don’t see inequality in your world? Awesome! Neither do I! I work as a nurse, a female-dominated profession, where I basically make the same wage as my supervisor, and I get raises based on experience, not on the whim of some faceless Corporate Goon.   But I’m not short-sighted or selfish enough to think that nobody else sees inequality either.

 

 

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