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Archive for the ‘family’ Category

A few weeks ago, my mother messaged me about a Doctor appointment she’d had.  I was going out the door to buy groceries with my nine-year-old son.  She texted me “He says it’s cancer” and ever since, my world’s been going on uber-slow mode. Everything slowed down in nightmarish fashion and I almost doubled over as if punched in the stomach. I immediately texted “SKYPE” in capitol letters with shaking fingers, and talked to my mother about the doctor’s MRI findings of her abdomen.  After hanging up, I was panting. I couldn’t catch my breath.

When a loved one says “Cancer” as a daughter, my mind went to “How do I live without my mother?” because I think of everyone who lost someone to cancer… Unfortunately I know a lot. A LOT. Including mothers who’ve lost children to this dastardly disease. I got angry. If someone had so much as looked at me wrong, I felt like I would’ve beaten them bloody.

I got my food, and took a detour to Sephora. I don’t know why. Buying that $ephora $30 Urban Decay eyeshadow palette seemed important.

As a nurse, my mind went to the painful, horrible treatments my mother would endure to gain more time with us, her children. And her grandchildren. I’d recently moved closer to my home province to get more time with my family. How was I to know how important this would be?? I thought of her getting sick, how much thinner she’d get with chemo treatments, and lose her hair.  I wondered which hair dresser I’d go to to shave my own head. I’ll be damned if I let my mother go through losing hair alone.  I thought about all the cancer patients I took care of. How sick they got. How that light of hopeful seemed to be missing in there eyes at times. I didn’t relish seeing that in my mother. Not the woman who always told us to keep trying and never give up.

I will be writing about this frequently, because it’s how I’m going to handle it. Someone else I met, lost her mother to cancer. She told me the story and hugged me hard.  I hang on to that story and how this Rock Diva dealt with her mother’s diagnosis by writing her a beautiful song that became a popular rock ballad.

Lita Ford, thank you for taking me on your journey, so I have strength to make my own.

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Please note, we both made each other cry!

So, with this new journey I go forward with the strength of me, my mother, my matriarchal ancestors and Lita Ford. Rock Goddess. Whatever happens, our ancestors will be proud of our fight.

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Instead of punishing the father, the whole world celebrated him. Put his picture up on every venue, praised his career, and patted his back, saying “There, there, haters are everywhere…” And said things like, “Sorry, little girl, how do we know your mother didn’t put you up to this?”

This man married his girlfriend’s 19 year old daughter, whom he’d known as a child since she was 10.  He wooed and married her, despite dating her mother for years and years.  Everyone tsked, but then said “So what? She’s legal! And hey, look at his brilliant work!!”

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The courts nearly granted him custody of this little girl.  Can you imagine the nightmare years she had ahead of her if he’d won?! I get nauseous thinking of it.

Because of this man’s career, this poor little girl and her mother grew up seeing this face everywhere. In magazines, newspapers, on billboards, Marquees.

When she spoke out publicly, when she was even supported by her brother, media threw up the fact that her mother was unfaithful to this “boyfriend”, stating her brother may’ve been fathered by another man.  Because that’s worse than stealing a child’s innocence and trust.

Now imagine you’re watching television. You’re watching the Golden Globes, smiling and watching your favorite Hollywood heroes, and suddenly, you spot him.  The man who’s made your life a hell since childhood and they’re CELEBRATING him. Praising him. The man who made you mistrust any other person, made you feel broken, damaged.  Are you outraged? Are you thinking this is only a story? Fiction?

No, it happened. It’s still happening.   Woody Allen has just been nominated for another Oscar. And Dylan Farrow’s pleas are being ignored once again, just as they have been 20 years ago.

Maybe if Dylan was honored for bravely coming forward…

If Mia Farrow were celebrated for risking her acting career to save her children, because really, she did…
Maybe if Woody were charged with proving he DIDN’T do it… Things might be different. And Dylan would have her closure.

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Horrorhound Weekend

As I write this, I wonder how I’ll ever begin to cover this weekend without getting my own emotions tangled up into it, because really? It was very emotional and personal to me. Walking into any of the vendor rooms and seeing the guests was like walking straight into a Fangoria magazine from the mid-eighties. It was entirely nostalgic to me, and got me quite emotional at times. Or that could’ve been the cocktails….
I was fortunate enough to be involved with the Tim-O and Harley table who exclusively hosted Mr. Danny Hicks of “Evil Dead 2” and “Darkman” fame. I was lucky enough to help out with the table and run for drinks and hold seats, and I couldn’t have done it for a nicer bunch of guys. Danny Hicks was nothing but entertaining and gracious, trying to help make everyone’s convention experience as positive as it could be. Watching “Evil Dead II” when I was seventeen years old, I never expected I would be in such close proximity to one of the characters who had made it so campy and enjoyable, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
Every guest and actor there was in good spirits, feeding the positive vibe and enjoying themselves as much as the patrons, which always results in running into Sid Haig at the pool chilling out with beer, or Brian O’Halloran at the bar, or Noah Hathaway outside taking a breather from the crowds. Anyone who was approached was gracious and happy to take a picture or give a hug to fans. As someone who watched these movies for so long, being able to approach an actor, have them talk to you like they’d known you years was such a thrill!
I personally finally got to meet and shake hands with Alex Winter, of “The Lost Boys” and “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” fame. I had been waiting so many years to meet him and it was wortht the wait. His easy smile and open manner made it so easy for me to talk to him, even though I was basically a quivering mass of jell-o on the inside.
I also got to meet the very charming Robert Rusler, Thom Matthews,Doug Bradley and Tom Loughlin, his lovely wife Karen, and I had ample opportunity to speak to every guest there. I have no complaints about the venue, and the hotel staff were available, friendly and very, very accomodating.
The hotel stay wasn’t without a few snags being stuck in the elevator one of them. However, we had Miko Hughes stuck with us keeping us company….Not going to complain too loudly about that!
It was a wonderful weekend full of friends, fun, nostalgia and some scary-looking characters who couldn’t resist playing along. Everyone kept it clean, the Horrorhound staff made sure everyone was taken care of and the Infernal Dreams camp had a very good time. Not bad for our first (but not last!) Horrorhound show, and a big thank you to Horrorhound staff and volunteers for working so hard to make this the memorable show that it was.

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